May We Meet Again
by NeWbRoKeNsCeNe
Summary: It's been 3 months since the awful Mount Weather incident. Clarke is gone, and nobody has heard from her since she walked away. Bellamy takes control as a guard at the new and improved Camp Jaha. The last 3 months have been quiet, but how will everyone react when a mysterious Grounder shows up mentioning Clarke's name? More importantly, how will Bellamy deal with it?
1. Chapter 1

_May we meet again._

Those words rang through Bellamy's head as he sat in the silence, taking him back to that moment, when Clarke looked at him, those beautiful blue eyes filled with pure pain and regret at the choices that she made, that _they_ made, that fateful day 3 months ago in Mount Weather. It almost broke Bellamy's heart to see her like that. But not as much as it broke the moment she walked away from him.

"Bell." Octavia's stern voice snapped him out of his trance. He looked over his shoulder to see that his younger sister was standing right behind him.

"Yeah?" Bellamy replied blantly.

"We have to think about it." is all she says. Bellamy just turned back around, shaking his head.

She was referring to the fact that people at Camp Jaha were saying that everyone should move into Mount Weather. It was brought up a few days ago, in the small meetings they have had every week in order to keep everyone updated about anything going on outside. Chancellor Abby was beginning to end the weekly session, so she had asked if anyone had any further questions they would like to discuss.

Barely a moment of hesitation had gone by before someone's hand shot up in the air. The unfamiliar man suddenly shouted "Why don't we move to Mount Weather?" and instantly the crowd and the chatter quieted. Everyone glanced at him, with looks of pure shock and disbelief.

"Well, we all know they have a ton of resources. They have food, medicine… and they don't need it anymore." He had said without any emotion.

That had caused Bellamy to get up, ready to tell this man that there was no way in hell he was going back in there, but Octavia had a firm grip on his arm, pulling him back down.

While Abby and Kane had tried to calm everyone down from the frequent chatter going around, Bellamy had turned to Octavia and said sternly, "Who the hell do these people think they are? We massacre an entire society and all they can think about is stealing all their damn food!"

Octavia just shook her head. "They're nervous. They think that we're running out of everything."

"Even if we are, we don't need to go there. We're fine where we are. Grounders haven't bothered us, and if we've made it this far, then we can do it. On our own." Bellamy had replied, then stormed off to the Arc.

The next few days, nobody had talked about the outburst. Not in public anyway, but as Bellamy had walked around the camp, he could see all of the people whispering in corners, glancing at Bellamy as he passed. He just ignored them, trying to focus on his new position as guard. He enjoyed getting an official title, especially after everything that he had done to get him and his people to where they are now, but since Bellamy received the title after the Mount Weather incident, every time he patrolled the camp this nagging feeling of guilt crept up, as if he didn't deserve the title.

Finally, Bellamy replied to Octavia. "No. Like I said before, we're fine where we are."

Octavia walked around Bellamy so that she stood in front of him, her arms crossed with eyebrows ceased.

"Fine. Maybe we are. But they don't feel that way. Maybe if we just checked it out.."

"No!" Bellamy interrupted, standing up and walking away from Octavia, just trying to find another quiet room.

"You have to stop letting your emotions cloud your judgement." Octavia stated, her voice rising as she followed Bellamy.

At that Bellamy stopped and turned, ready to once again tell her they were fine, but his words were stopped when he saw that the look on Octavia's face had softened.

"Look.." she started. "I know what you guys did back there was tough…but Bellamy, you've had to do a ton of tough things in your life, but you always get through them." she said gently.

Bellamy just stood there, motionless, not knowing what to say.

She continued. "But think about all the stuff at Mount Weather. That guy was right, they do have a lot of stuff we can use. We have to think about this as helping our people, not stealing from the dead."

Bellamy took a deep breath, not wanting to argue about it anymore,then finally spoke, trying to push away his personal feelings. "Fine. We take a few people to see what they have and get as much as we can."

Octavia just nodded, but her eyes showed that she was grateful that Bellamy finally agreed.

"I'll go tell them. We'll leave in the morning." she said, then walked off before Bellamy could say another word.


	2. Chapter 2

" _Together." Bellamy said as he placed his hand over Clarke's. Even through her thick glove, he could feel her shaking. She looked over to him, her eyes saying she was thankful that she wouldn't have to do it alone. He just stared back at her and slightly nodded._

 _He pressed down a little harder as the lever moved under both of their hands. The sound of the propellers slowed down, and as soon as it started up again, Bellamy removed his hand and moved closer to the monitors, making sure Octavia was still okay, ignoring the cries of pain coming from everyone on Level 5. She was still pinned down, but soon the man holding her down started yelling in pain, joining in with the others filling the room. As soon as Bellamy saw Octavia get up, he turned away from the monitors, closing his eyes._

The next morning, Bellamy went by the newly made armory, grabbed one gun, and went outside to meet with the others. Jasper, Monty, Lincoln, and Octavia were gathered by the entrance, talking amongst each other when Bellamy walked up.

"Let's go." He said sternly, walking through them, straight to the gates. They followed, picking up their bags and guns from the ground. Bellamy looked over at the guard, who nodded and opened the gates for them.

The others occasionally talked for the first half of the walk, but Bellamy was silent the whole way, giving one word responses when Octavia or someone else would ask him a question. They would get the hint and back off, and Bellamy was grateful for that.

While they were at their third rest stop, Bellamy was just finishing checking in with Abby at the Arc when he heard a twig snap behind him. He immediately took out his gun and held it up as he whirled around to the source of the sound. The others were about twenty feet away from Bellamy, so he glanced over to make sure they were okay. When Bellamy saw them all leaning against a tree trunk and making small talk, he turned back around, sweeping his gun around as he searched for any movement. It was quiet for a while, but then Bellamy heard leaves rustling behind a nearby tree.

He aimed his gun right at the tree, slowly walking up to it. He was praying that is wasn't a Grounder. Even though they had made peace with Lexa's people, that alliance had basically ended when she made a deal that basically left all of Bellamy's people for dead. They haven't encountered any of her Grounders since, but the citizens of the Arc are still wary.

"I know you're there." Bellamy stated, standing still as he kept his gun pointed at the tree.

Slowly, a figure emerged from behind the trees. It was a girl, probably about a year or two younger than Bellamy, wearing Grounder clothes, her hands in the air as if to show that she means no harm. Her long brown hair was in a braid that draped down her side, but she looked as though she'd been crawling through the forest, twigs nestled in her braid and dirt smudging her otherwise simple yet flawless face.

Bellamy kept his gun aimed at her as she stood next to the tree, out in the open, not even flinching when she saw the barrel of the gun pointed right at her chest.

"Who are you?" He asked.

She looked at him for a while, as if she was hesitating to even answer that. After studying him, she replied quietly, "You're the sky people."

Bellamy shifted a little, but didn't let his gun waver. He ignores the fact that she avoided the question, and instead formed a new one.

"Are you with Lexa?" He asked, not really wanting to know the answer. If Lexa has decided that the Arc people were her enemy again, they would begin their second war. Bellamy could barely even handle the first.

Her eyebrows creased in confusion as her hands dropped to her sides. "Lexa? No, we haven't seen her in weeks."

"Who's we?" asked Bellamy, quickly glancing around to see if she had brought backup. The last thing they need is a bunch of Grounders randomly attacking.

"My people." she replied quickly, and before Bellamy could ask another question, she rolled her eyes. "Look, I didn't come here to get acquainted. I came here to get your help." She said, her face serious.

Bellamy lowered his gun, no longer feeling as though he would have any reason to use it.

"Help with what?" He asked, surprising himself for even considering helping her.

Her eyes darted around, as if to make sure that nobody was watching or listening. After a moment of hesitation, she looked back at Bellamy and said, "One of our leaders went missing."

She paused, and Bellamy took this as a moment to finally ask her what he should've in the first place.

"Why would we help you?" He asked, his voice a little more stern than he intended.

She opened her mouth to respond when all of the sudden something flew past Bellamy's head, and before he could even duck down, he watched an arrow enter the girl's stomach.

Her hands reached to her stomach and she crumbled to the ground, moaning in pain. Bellamy's head whipped around, and in the nearby trees he saw Octavia, the bow still in her hand, while Jasper, Monty, and Lincoln began trotting towards Bellamy.

Bellamy turned back around and without even thinking, he ran to the girl. He knelt beside her, not being able to do anything but stare at the arrow wedged into her stomach. He looked at the girl's face, and her eyes were sealed shut, as if she was trying to conceal the cries of pain that she was obviously holding in. Her hands were resting on her stomach, right around where the wound was, and her hands were now mostly covered in her own blood. _Clarke would know what to do….._

He shook the thought of her out of his head as he heard approaching footsteps.

"You okay?" Jasper asked, standing behind Bellamy, sounding a little out of breath.

Bellamy tore his eyes away from the wounded girl, turning around to face Jasper and the others, who were now standing behind him.

"What the hell was that for?" He asked sternly, staring directly at Octavia.

She looked shocked for a minute, then pushed through Monty and Jasper so that she was standing above Bellamy.

"That Grounder was reaching for a knife." She said, motioning to the girl behind Bellamy.

Bellamy shook his head. "No she wasn't. She was looking for help!" He cried, his voice rising.

Octavia just crinkled her eyebrows, but Monty moved beside her and looked at Bellamy.

"Help? What kind of help?" He asked, his curious tone matching the looks on everyone's faces.

Bellamy was about to respond when he heard something behind him.

"Ca…" the sound quietly escaped the girl's mouth, but it was enough to make him turn back around, he had almost forgotten that she was there.

"What?" He asked, knowing that she was trying to say something. He leaned in closer, waiting for her to say it again. He needed to figure out what she wanted so that he would know if there was a new Grounder war approaching them.

She coughed a little, making her eyes squeeze even tighter. She opened them a little and tilted her head so she was looking at sputtered out one word before her eyes closed and her breathing slowed.

"Clarke."


	3. Chapter 3

_Glancing at Octavia, Bellamy suddenly felt someone jump into his arms, embracing him in a hug. Startled, his head turned and he was greeted by a mess of familiar blonde hair. He squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped his arms around Clarke. He was so glad that she was okay. He knew she was strong, but the moment that Finn had mentioned that the Grounder was wearing Clarke's dad's watch, Bellamy had this sinking feeling that watching her glance at him worriedly as the Drop Ship door closed in front of her was the last time he would see her. Bellamy was so glad that wasn't true. After ignoring Octavia's comment and holding Clarke for a while longer, Bellamy let go. Her face was covered in scratches and bruises, but her bright blue eyes were shining when she looked at him, just as relieved to see him as he was her._

"What did she say?" Jasper's sudden voice snapped Bellamy out of his trance. Hearing Clarke's name again after so long made him think of the last time she was gone, when the Mountain Men took her and the others, but Bellamy and Finn had thought they were all dead. This time, after she had been gone for a while, Bellamy hadn't thought she was dead, but the fact that this Grounder girl knew her proved she was alive, which filled Bellamy with unexplainable joy.

He looked back at the Grounder, who was now breathing slowly, her eyes closed.

"We have to get her to Abby." Bellamy stated, ignoring Jasper's question. He didn't have time to ponder what she meant, but if this girl knew something about Clarke, and if she was in trouble, Bellamy had to know.

Octavia spoke up, crouching beside Bellamy. "Are you crazy? Camp Jaha is about 5 hours away. And we're still 3 hours away from Mount Weather. There's no way we can get her to either place." Bellamy could tell by the tone of Octavia's voice that she had heard what the girl said, and now felt some sort of guilt for shooting her.

Bellamy clenched his fists, suddenly irritated. "Well we have to do something! We can't just let her die. We have to find out what she knows." He said that last part quietly, mostly to himself. For some reason he didn't want everyone else knowing that this girl knew Clarke.

Lincoln walked around everyone and crouched on the opposite side of the girl glancing at the wound in her stomach. Then he finally spoke. "I might be able to help."

"How?" Bellamy demanded, wondering why Lincoln took this long to finally speak up.

Lincoln glanced up at Octavia. "During the first Grounder attack, Octavia was shot, remember? And I healed her. I can help this girl the same way."

Octavia shook her head, looking at Lincoln. "But you had to take me to your village right? We're nowhere near there."

Lincoln glanced around at the trees around them. "There has to be something." And before anyone could say anything else, he ran into the forest behind him.

Bellamy finally stood up after checking once again that the girl was still breathing, even though it was slow. He turned around to face the others.

"Jasper, Monty, stay here and wait for Lincoln to come back. If anything happens, just call out." He stated, while walking past them back towards the place where they had originally all sat down to rest.

"Where are you going?" Monty asked as Bellamy was walking away, but Bellamy just kept moving.

Once he got to where his bag was perched against a fallen tree, he sat down and put his head in his hands, resting on his knees. Ten minutes ago, this trip was peaceful, the only bad thing being the fact that Bellamy would have to relive helping murder all of those innocents in Mount Weather. Now, there was this mysterious Grounder who knew Clarke and said something about a missing leader.

Bellamy's head raised as he put the pieces together. This girl sputtered out Clarke's name after telling Bellamy that her leader went missing, and she somehow knew that Bellamy was from the Arc. Clarke must be the leader.

For some reason, this thought made Bellamy smile. He remembered all of those times when she would step up and become the one that everyone looked up to. Near the beginning, those times had made Bellamy mad, after all, he had come here to protect Octavia, not to let some girl do it. But after all of the things they encountered, Bellamy had realized that they were stronger with both her and him at the top. Now, Bellamy could just imagine her being a strong Grounder leader, barking out orders and always putting her people first.

 _Her people_. It was weird to Bellamy that he could no longer say _our people_. Clarke had chosen to leave their people, and as much as Bellamy had wanted to be mad at Clarke for leaving them after everything that they had gone through, the minute that Clarke had said " _I bear it so they don't have to."_ , Bellamy knew he couldn't say anything else to make her stay. She, like many others, had lost herself in the midst of all of the war and chaos they had endured since they landed on Earth. She had killed so many people, one of them being someone that she truly cared about. Bellamy understood that she couldn't go back to Camp Jaha without being reminded of everything that she had done, that they had done, but she chose to walk away, most likely to find herself. Bellamy just hoped that wherever she was, that she has made peace with everything that she did. After all, it was for their people and the ones they cared about.

Approaching footsteps forced Bellamy out of his train of thought. Octavia sat down next to him, placing her pack right next to his.

She was silent for a while, but finally said, "I hope Lincoln can help her."

Bellamy glanced over at her, and she was looking down, fidgeting with her gloves. He sighed before replying, "O, it's okay. You thought she was going to hurt me."

Octavia stopped messing with her gloves to look at Bellamy. "No, it's not okay. I know that she said Clarke's name. She knows her, and you want to know how." She stated, watching as Bellamy looked down, not saying anything. "And if she dies, you lose the only person that we know who can help you find Clarke again. I would never forgive myself, and neither would you." She said, her voice softening at the end.

Bellamy grabbed his water out of his bag and took a long drink before saying, "Maybe she doesn't even want to be found." Bellamy didn't want to think that she wouldn't want to see him if he did find her, but then again, he didn't know how spending 3 months with Grounders would affect her.

Octavia just shook her head as if she wanted to argue, but instead said, "What else did the girl say? When she said she needed your help, did she say why?"

Bellamy decided then that he could tell Octavia. He didn't want to keep it all bottled up, and he trusted her to help him and keep it a secret if he asked her to.

"She said that one of her leaders went missing." He stated, and after Octavia said nothing, he continued. "I think that she was talking about Clarke." He said, trying not to let his voice catch on her name. He doesn't remember the last he had said it out loud. It felt foreign, like it was almost too painful to say it, as if it just brought back way too many memories that would make him miss her even more.

He expected Octavia to ask questions, like _why would Clarke be a leader of the Grounders_ or _why would we even help Clarke, she knew a missile was going to kill hundreds of Grounders and did nothing about it_. Instead, she replied matter-of-factly, "Then we help this girl, and we find out what she know so we can help Clarke."

Bellamy was shocked by this response, not knowing if this was Octavia feeling guilty for shooting the Grounder, or if this was her caring about Bellamy enough to put her feelings for Clarke aside to help him.

Just as he was about to respond, a distant shout came from the woods. "Bellamy!" It was Jasper.

Bellamy jumped up, along with Octavia, and they both took off running. When they got to the source of the yell, Jasper, Monty, and Lincoln were all huddled over the girl. Jasper turned as Bellamy and Octavia approached.

"She's awake."


	4. Chapter 4

_Bellamy leaned over Atom, a tight grip on the knife in his trembling hands. He watched Atom struggle for breath, his eyes filled with pain. He couldn't do it. He kept telling himself to put his emotions aside and just put Atom out of the misery that the acid fog had caused, but he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him and glanced over his shoulder to see Clarke walking up to him. She knelt on the other side of Atom, saying nothing._

 _Clarke glanced at Atom, and then began humming, stroking his burned face. It was a soft hum, yet it still made Bellamy feel a sense of ease. She reached her hand down and grabbed the knife from Bellamy's hands, still humming quietly. Bellamy glanced at Clarke, and when he noticed that she didn't seem scared or upset, but at ease, he felt some sort of feeling rush over him. This was a different Clarke, one that Bellamy felt few people saw. This wasn't the leader Clarke, the one who always steps up to make decisions for the whole camp. This was vulnerable Clarke, the one that showed all of the pain that she had endured and all of the empathy that she felt for all of our people. And in that moment, seeing her easing Atom into his death, making him comfortable, Bellamy felt something that he has never felt before._

Jasper and the others parted as Bellamy and Octavia walked closer to the wounded girl. Bellamy knelt down beside her, and automatically his eyes went to her wound. Now it was covered with a torn cloth, as if Lincoln had ripped part of his shirt off. Underneath, Bellamy saw some sort of plant sticking out, covered with blood.

The Grounder girl's head was now perched on a pack, and Bellamy guessed that either Monty or Jasper gave theirs up. Her eyes were closed, but somehow Bellamy knew that she wasn't sleeping. He glanced around at the others.

"Can we have a minute?" Bellamy asked, trying not to sound like he was barking at them. Thankfully, none of them protested, just nodded and walked back into the woods, as if they were grateful that they didn't have to deal with the situation anymore.

The minute that their footsteps faded, the girl's eyes opened. She slightly raised her head, glancing at the wound on her stomach. She sighed in anger and plopped her head down on the bag.

"Was that really necessary?" She whispered, her voice hoarse.

"Based on our history with Grounders, it's understandable why Octavia didn't even hesitate." Bellamy said, avoiding the actual question.

She nodded as best as she could while laying down. "Lexa, right? You mentioned her before."

Bellamy nodded, not wanting to get into it. He wasn't about to relive the war with some strange girl who was just shot by his sister. Instead, he changes to a more important topic.

"You said you weren't with Lexa. If so, then who are you with?" He asked, genuinely concerned. He had heard about the other Grounder clans, the ones whose leaders showed up to Lexa's camp on the day that Mount Weather decided to attempt to kill them all, but he never thought he would have to face any others.

The girl hesitated, as if she had to think about whether she should even tell Bellamy. After a few silent seconds, she cleared her throat before saying, "My name is Amelia. That's all I can tell you."

Bellamy felt a sudden surge of anger as he replied, "That's all? You came here to ask me for help but you won't even tell me who you're with?!"

Amelia didn't seem scared, she just stared right at Bellamy. "It doesn't matter which clan I'm from. What matters is that a leader of that clan has gone missing and I figured you would want to help."

With all this confusion on who this girl was actually with, Bellamy had almost forgotten that Amelia had mentioned Clarke earlier. For a moment, he had thought that he had just imagined it, that he was just hearing what he wanted to hear, but once Octavia said she had heard it, too, Bellamy realized that it was real. If Amelia was telling the truth, and Bellamy and the others did help her, he could be seeing Clarke soon. The thought just made Bellamy's heart flutter, but there was also a looming sense of nervousness. He didn't know how she would have changed in these last few months, living with the Grounders, by Grounder rules. Bellamy had seen what Grounders could look like, and somehow he couldn't imagine Clarke like them. He didn't want to.

After realizing that he had been silent, lost in his train of thought, he finally responded to Amelia.

"Clarke." He said matter-of-factly, as if he was already positive that as he had thought, Clarke was the missing leader. It was more like he hoped it, though. He hoped that this leader was Clarke so that he would have some chance of saving her, of seeing her again. Otherwise, that would mean Bellamy was back to where he was before: not knowing where she was or if she was even alive.

Thankfully, Amelia nodded her head as best she could while laying down. When Bellamy did nothing, just sat there, grateful that he was right but also scared because now he knew for a fact that she was missing, she answered the question that had been circling around Bellamy's head.

"She came to us a little over 2 months ago. We were wary at first, of course, this strangely dressed girl coming into our camp asking for a place to stay, but our head leader Kaya agreed to let her stay for a few days to regain her strength."

When she paused, Bellamy sat quietly, wanting to know where she had spent the first few weeks after she left. He wanted to ask Amelia so many things: Was she hurt? How did she look? Was she doing okay? Did she talk about us? But, knowing Amelia had more to tell, Bellamy asked none of these.

Amelia breathed deeply, as if the pain from her wound was returning, but she just winced and continued.

"On the last day that Kaya was allowing her to stay, we were attacked. It was from out of nowhere, just bullets, yes, bullets, flying everywhere, hitting so many people. We were so unprepared, so weak. We never even found out who it was." She whispered the last part, as if she was reliving some terrible memories. She blinked a few times, the sad, far away look in her eyes gone.

"Clarke helped us. The moment the first bullet hit its first victim, Clarke was ushering everyone into one of our underground huts. She stayed out there, amidst the flying bullets and people dying all around her, just to make sure that she could get everyone she could to safety."

Bellamy smiled at this, again just imagining her, the strong Clarke that he had grown to admire, knowing she was forced to leave a town but still willing to help everyone in it. Maybe she hadn't changed that much after all.

Amelia had a slight smile on her face, too, as much as she could with her wound. "She saved so many of our people. When it was all over, when we all came out of hiding, Kaya went straight to Clarke, thanking her for her help. She barely hesitated before she said that Clarke could stay and train to become part of our clan. After weeks of training, she proved to be so strong that Kaya asked her to be the replacement of the leader that had fallen during the attack. She was a very strong leader and everyone in the clan was loyal to her."

As much as Bellamy liked hearing about Clarke and what she had been up to for the past few months, he felt as though they were wasting precious time.

"You said something about her going missing?" Bellamy asked, trying to indirectly tell Amelia to get to the point.

She nodded, stating, "A few days ago, we sent her to retrieve supplies. Of course, since she's one of our leaders, we sent two of our best guards with her. When she hadn't returned within two days, Kaya sent people out looking for her, me being in one of the three groups. A few hours later, when we met back up, one group reported that they found her two guards….dead." Amelia choked out the last word, and Bellamy assumed it was because she had known the guards. But that wasn't what was bothering Bellamy.

He closed his eyes, sighing. "How do you even know she's alive?" He whispered. He had gone all of this time just assuming that she was alive, not even beginning to think of the alternative until now. He tried to push it out of his head, the thought that she could be lying somewhere…. Thankfully, Amelia speaking snapped him out of his painful thoughts.

"If whoever had killed the guards wanted her dead, they would've killed her right there, with them." She says confidently. "There would be no point just to take her somewhere else to kill her."

"Unless they wanted you to look for her. Form some sort of trap and just end up taking more of you." Bellamy stated bluntly. He didn't want to believe that he was right, yet some part of him was telling himself to be realistic, even if it hurt more.

Amelia hesitated, as if she hadn't thought that was a possibility. After a few seconds, she shook her head. "Doesn't matter. One of our leaders goes missing, we look for them. Wouldn't you do the same?" she asked, looking at Bellamy with raised eyebrows.

Bellamy was silent, remembering when Clarke and the others had been taken by the Mountain Men. When him and Finn disobeyed Abby and Kane and went out looking for them.

He nodded, pushing the pessimistic thoughts out of his head. That would only make him weaker, and he needed to be strong and focused if he was going to find her.

"Yeah, you're right. Just tell me where she was headed and we'll help you find her." Bellamy said, now feeling a sudden urge to get moving right away. He didn't want to waste any more time, he was ready to go after something worth fighting for after many months of silence and busywork. He couldn't help but get excited about seeing Clarke again, seeing her smile and those beautiful eyes, wrapping her in his arms again, remembering every tiny detail of her and the moments they had spent together... He smiled, knowing for a fact that he would see her again. There was no way that it ended like this. They were going to save her and then she would come back to Camp Jaha, reuniting with her family and she would finally be able to be happy, moving forward instead of looking back. They would go back to being leaders together, making each other stronger and, at least in Bellamy's case, a hell of a lot happier.

But, in order for all of this to happen, he would actually have to know where to look for her, which is why he turned his attention to Amelia, eager to find out where she was, and how long it would take to get there.

Amelia smiled slightly, silently thanking him for deciding that she was worth trusting.

"Mount Weather. They were going to Mount Weather."


	5. Chapter 5

_From the fence at Camp Jaha, Bellamy stood with Raven, Abby and Kane, staring down at the sight in front of them. Lexa's army was massive, stretching across most of the land that was visible from this side of the fence. They all stood in silence, watching as Clarke made her way up to Lexa. Bellamy tried to hide his fear, he didn't want everyone to know how worried he was for Clarke. He knew her emotions were all over the place; she had just recently escaped from Mount Weather, only to find out that Finn had nearly massacred an entire town in search for her. But he knew that she was strong enough to conceal them in front of Lexa and her Grounders._

 _She spoke with Lexa for a little, and still, everyone was silent, wishing that they could hear what was happening. Moments later a few Grounders were pulling Finn by the arm and tying him to a nearby pole. Even from afar, Bellamy could tell Clarke was desperate as she continued to speak with Lexa, attempting to talk her out of it. Then, all of the sudden, her body relaxed. As she began walking towards Finn, Bellamy had a glimmer of hope that it worked, she was setting Finn free. But then, after a few moments of her looking as if she was hugging him, she backed away slowly, and Finn's head dropped. Raven began sobbing loudly next to Bellamy, and, stuck in shock, Bellamy just stood there, trying to comprehend what had happened. As he saw Clarke walk away from Finn's now lifeless body, Bellamy knew that Clarke would never be the same. I was one thing to lose someone at all, but a thousand times more painful when that person is someone that you truly love._

"Mount Weather?" Bellamy repeated, sure that he'd heard Amelia wrong. It wasn't the fact that they would go to Mount Weather for supplies that was hard for Bellamy to grasp, considering him and his people were doing the same thing, but the fact that Clarke would go back at all. It had taken 3 months for Bellamy to even consider going back to that place, but it surprised Bellamy that Clarke would go back at all. The whole reason that she left Camp Jaha was because she couldn't live with the things that she had done, Mount Weather being the final factor in that decision. Bellamy figured that she would've wanted to avoid that as much as possible, but apparently not.

Amelia nodded, solidifying all of Bellamy's concerns. When he was too stunned to respond, still trying to process it, Amelia said, "Yeah, when Clarke was explaining to Kaya where she came from, she also had to say why she left in the first place. She told us about Mount Weather, and how it was basically a functioning society."

Bellamy tensed up, asking, "Is that all she told you?" For some reason, he didn't want other people to know what they had done. It was almost as if it was him and Clarke's secret. Even though a ton of people at Camp Jaha knew what had happened, only him and Clarke (and Monty, but that's beside the point) had pulled the lever that let the radiation in, killing all of those innocents. They both felt the guilt of killing everyone, they had just decided to handle it in different ways.

Amelia hesitated, and Bellamy saw her eyes kind of glaze over while looking at him, as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Are you Bellamy?" she asked quietly, creasing her eyebrows as she continued to search his face.

The question surprised Bellamy, not because she knew his name, but because there was only one way she could've known it: Clarke. She must've told them about him when she had first arrived at Amelia's village. For some reason, that made Bellamy want to smile, because maybe the fact that she was talking about him meant that she missed him as much as he missed her.

After realizing that he had been daydreaming instead of actually answering Amelia, he answers, "Yes." His tone was firm, as if he had no reason to be afraid of admitting who he was to Amelia.

Amelia's eyes relaxed, and she took a deep breath before saying, "She told me what happened there."

"Why?" Bellamy replied quickly, truly wanting to know if she had a reason for reliving that whole experience.

Amelia sighed, as if she had to recall a memory, possibly a painful one.

"A few days after the attack, the one that Clarke helped us with, she found me in my tent one day bawling my eyes out." she said calmly. Bellamy remained silent, not really knowing what to say to this, especially to someone he only met 20 minutes ago.

Amelia took Bellamy's awkward silence as a reason to continue. "In the attack, my father died. And at first, I did nothing. In our village we aren't supposed to cry for loss. We're just supposed to avenge lost ones and lay them to rest peacefully. But after a while, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I ran into my tent and started crying my eyes out...that's when Clarke walked in. Despite the fact that she didn't even know me, she started comforting me right away, and we started talking about how to deal with loss." she said, now propping herself up against the tree behind her, sitting up.

Bellamy was still silent, just remembering all of the loss that Clarke had suffered. First, her dad, back on the arc, then Charlotte, which was technically both of their faults. There was also that brief time when she thought that her mom had died, when Charlotte killed Wells, and not to mention the worst of all: Finn. If anyone knew how to hide emotions: it was Clarke. She could still walk away head held high after losing so many people, and Bellamy respected that, not a lot of people are as strong as her.

Amelia continued. "She told me the real reason she left Camp Jaha." she said, pausing to glance up at Bellamy, as if she was asking him if it was even okay that she knew. Bellamy just gave her a slight nod.

"She told me what you guys did at Mount Weather. All of it. Then she told me how she walked away from you guys right after that; said she couldn't deal with seeing people she loved hurt because of what she did."

Bellamy froze at the word _loved_. Did she consider him in that category? If so, then that meant Bellamy had to confront his feelings, accept them, which had always been hard for him. He wasn't exactly ready for that yet.

"So how did you know me?" Bellamy asked quietly. He didn't even really mean to, it just slipped out. No matter how hard he tried to just focus on the task at hand: the journey to find Clarke, he couldn't help himself: he was curious about her. Especially after that _loved_ part. And that kiss on the cheek when she left that now possibly meant more than goodbye….

Amelia paused, as if debating on even answering the simple question.

"She just mentioned your name in her stories about her time here on Earth. That's all." she said, shrugging while tugging at a loose strand on her already worn out pants.

Bellamy squinted his eyes at her, he knew she was lying, there was more. This just made him want to know more.

"But…"

Approaching footsteps cut him off. Jasper, Monty, Lincoln, and Octavia walked up, now all looking impatient, but no one more than Octavia.

"Bell, haven't you had enough time?" She asked, annoyed. "We have to get moving, either back to Camp Jaha or to Mount Weather. Which is it gonna be?" She slung her bow over her shoulder, casting a glance at Amelia now perched on the tree, most likely grateful that she's actually alright.

"Sorry, by the way." Octavia mumbled to Amelia, ducking her head.

Amelia just nodded. "All will be forgotten if you help me." she said, looking at all of the others.

Then Jasper spoke up. "Help with what? You've been really vague, Bellamy, and if I'm gonna even think about going back to that place, I'm gonna have to know why." He demanded. Bellamy knew he was still slightly upset about the death of Maya that Bellamy had partially caused.

He nodded, finally standing up, brushing the grass and dirt off of him. He glanced at Octavia, her eyes saying _tell them_ as she nodded at him.

Bellamy took a deep breath while looking at the other's confused glances.

"Okay. A leader of Amelia's Grounder clan has gone missing. And yes, O, we're going to help her." he said sternly, attempting to use his tone to tell the others that he wasn't going to change his mind.

Lincoln stepped forward around Octavia. "Why the hell are we helping her? Helping Grounders never works out." he barked, even though he just helped save Amelia's life.

Bellamy huffed. "That's great coming from you. Cause I'm pretty sure if my sister hadn't decided to help you, you wouldn't be here right now." He said, jabbing his finger towards Lincoln.

Lincoln just rolled his eyes and mumbled, "You know what I mean." as he stepped back behind Octavia.

"If you're talking about Lexa, then that was completely different. We were avoiding a war! This is important, we have to do this!" Bellamy demanded, raising his voice, getting upset that they wouldn't just trust that he knows what's best, despite his recent decisions.

"Why?" Jasper snapped back, his voice also rising. "Just tell us, Bellamy. Tell us why it's so damn important that we abandon our original mission to help this random girl!"

As Bellamy was about to respond, Jasper stepped forward, continuing. "Is this just some stupid rescue mission? Is this just something to make you feel better about yourself for what you did?!" Jasper was yelling, nearing Bellamy, his eyes wide and angry. As shocked as Bellamy was, the way Jasper was speaking to him was making him angrier by the second.

"Jasper…" Monty said quietly, grabbing on to Jasper's arm in an attempt to stop him.

"No!" Jasper ripped his arm from Monty's grasp, continuing towards Bellamy.

"Are you finally happy you got your little mission where you can be the hero again? Is this your attempt to show your so called power that you're so obsessed with? Well guess what, Bellamy, you're never gonna be the hero! You're just gonna be the guy that killed thousands of innocent…"

He was cut off by Bellamy's fist connecting with his jaw. Jasper crumpled to the ground, holding his cheek. Amelia and Monty gasped, as Monty ran up to Jasper, helping him up, shaking his head while looking at Bellamy. But he didn't say anything, none of them did. They just stood there, even Jasper now, glancing up at Bellamy, red faced and fuming.

"This is NOT just some dumb game for power!" He yelled, walking back and forth in front of them, glancing at them all. "I know what I did, and last time I checked I did it to save us! It happened, now all we can do is move forward!" He yelled, and while he was yelling it at them, he was mainly doing it for the sake of trying to convince himself.

"And this is sure as hell not some dumb rescue mission. It's a rescue mission for one of our people!" He continued, surprised that he didn't even hesitate before saying our.

Jasper, Monty, and Lincoln all gave Bellamy a confused look, glancing at each other as if they missed something, as if someone at Camp Jaha had been taken without them realizing.

"It's Clarke." Bellamy said after moments of hesitation. His voice returned to normal, even getting quieter, as he said her name, hoping it wouldn't crack. He just couldn't stay angry when his thoughts were on her. Not anymore.

Jasper stepped forward, his removed hand revealing the already formed bruise on his left cheek. He didn't look like he even cared anymore. His eyes were wide as he said, "What?"

Monty and Lincoln had similar expressions: confusion and surprise all in one.

"What do you mean?" Jasper continued.

"Clarke's the leader." Octavia finally said, as if she just now put the pieces together. She had known that Amelia said Clarke's name, but she didn't know why. Until now.

Octavia looked at Bellamy for confirmation and he nodded.

"But how?" Monty asked, still looking awestruck.

"She came to us after she left your camp." Amelia said from the ground, startling everyone. Bellamy had almost forgotten she was there, and that she had just witnessed him punching Jasper in the face. It didn't seem to faze her, though, she looked as calm as ever.

The others were silent, as if considering this. Finally, Octavia spoke again.

"Well, there, he explained. Happy, Jasper?" She said, shooting a sarcastic smile in his direction, and being greeted with a dirty look in response.

Octavia looked down to Amelia and back to Bellamy, nodding as she continued.

"Then it's settled. We're leaving as soon as we can. Let's go get Clarke."


	6. Chapter 6

_Bellamy and Octavia burst through the heavy door, Octavia holding her shoulder, which was pouring with blood. Lincoln was outside the door, yelling at Monty and Jasper to hurry up. They came in shortly after, out of breath. Lincoln grunted as he shut the door, and even before the silence could wash over everyone, he ran over to where Bellamy stood with Octavia. Lincoln grabbed Octavia's good arm and helped her to the ground, where he started looking at her wound. Bellamy grimaced as he put weight on his ankle, and as he leaned against the wall, he looked down at his blood-covered hands. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself after what had just happened. Just as he closed his eyes to slide against the wall and sit down, he heard a cry from the room next door. Amelia. Bellamy didn't even realize that she ran in with Jasper and Monty. Bellamy ran as fast as he could with his hurt ankle. When he found where she was, he saw her kneeling on the floor, crying over something, and as Bellamy got closer to see what it was, his breath got caught in his throat and the world seemed to spin all around him. In the corner of the room lay Clarke's dead body._

Bellamy jolted awake, sweating and breathing heavily. He shut his eyes and rubbed them, confused. These past few days….make that months, Bellamy has only dreamed about memories between Clarke and him. All of the times they spent together, whether small or big, good or bad, he would reminisce over everything that happened between them, wishing he could go back. But this time was different. This wasn't a memory, this was a nightmare.

Seeing Clarke like that caused Bellamy to stay alert for the rest of the night, trying to get the image out of his head. The way that her once soft blonde hair was ratted and dirty, partially covering her face, which Bellamy was almost thankful for. All he could see behind the mess of hair was her pale face, covered in dried blood and bruises. Her unfamiliar Grounder clothes had been covered in blood.

Bellamy lay staring at the stars, now more paranoid than ever that she was hurt, wherever she was. He originally thought that she was strong and could get out of anything, but what if whatever or whoever this was was too strong? What if fighting back actually got her even more hurt? Bellamy had grown used to the aching absence of Clarke, but with every passing minute, Bellamy becomes even more worried that her hug and kiss on the cheek was the last thing that he would remember about her. He honestly didn't know what he would do if she died. The only good things that have happened on this Earth have happened with her.

"You awake?" Bellamy heard someone whisper next to him.

He turned to his side, seeing Amelia doing the same thing he was, just staring into nothingness and thinking. Her hand was laying on her stomach where her wound was, resting there.

"Are you feeling any better?" Bellamy asked quietly as an answer to her question.

She turned her head to look at him, saying, "I'll be okay.", shooting him a slight smile.

Bellamy nodded and, sensing that the small talk was dying away, he turned back to laying on his back.

After a few seconds of silence, Amelia spoke again. "You know she really cares about you, right?"

Bellamy froze. He wasn't expecting the question, and as much as he just wanted to murmur for her to stay out of it, that is was none of her business, he chose to say nothing. Hearing her name still hurt Bellamy, but even more now after that nightmare. Bellamy was glad that Amelia had said _cares_ instead of _cared_ , implying that she thought that Clarke was still alive, so that gave Bellamy a little more hope.

When he didn't respond, Amelia continued. "When she was sitting with me talking about loss, she really only talked about the people that she left behind at Camp Jaha. Specifically you."

Bellamy could feel her looking at him as he finally spoke up. "She left us all behind, not just me." It came out much harsher than Bellamy had meant to, almost making him come to a realization. Apparently he has been so focused on missing her that he didn't even think about his anger towards her. The fact that she just up and left after Mount Weather, leaving Bellamy to deal with the aftermath of what they'd done. The fact that she could just leave like that, leaving her mom, who has already been worried enough about her, leaving everyone who looked up to her as a leader. She always talked about how she always put their people first, yet this decision was incredibly selfish. _I bear it so they don't have to_? They had to bear it anyway! They had to accept the fact that people that are their supposed leaders murdered dozens of innocent people. She just left because she felt guilty, even though they did what they had to do.

Bellamy blinked, surprised by this sudden wave of anger. He didn't want to be mad about it, he had always just remembered how hurt she look as she walked away and he thought that he understood her reasoning, but thinking about it now, he couldn't.

"Bellamy?" Amelia asks, getting Bellamy out of his head and his anger.

"Yeah?" He muttered in return, sighing.

"Did you hear me? I said that she missed you more than anyone, that leaving you was the hardest part."

Bellamy closed his eyes, wanting to believe what Amelia was saying, but somehow he couldn't. He couldn't see Clarke just spilling all of her feelings to some random Grounder girl.

"Just go back to sleep." Bellamy grunted as he rolled over so his back was to her.

He could feel her eyes melting the back of his head as she chuckled. "Really?" and when Bellamy said nothing, she added, "Well ,okay then, whatever you say boss. I just thought I would tell you so that you know she feels the same way."

Bellamy turned quickly, pointing an accusatory finger at Amelia, who was still turned to him.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You don't know me, and you sure as hell don't know Clarke just from a little heart to heart." He snapped, his voice rising in anger.

Amelia looked shocked, as if she expected Bellamy to just talk to her like he had known her for a long time. Eventually, as if she was waiting to see if Bellamy was going to explode anymore, she narrowed her eyes at him and turned her back to him, muttering "You'd be surprised." before the night fell silent once again.

The next morning, after walking for what felt like ages, they were only about 1 hour away from Mount Weather, and the only thing that had happened in the last two hours were Jasper and Monty bombarding Amelia with questions, some about her village of Grounders, and some about Clarke. Bellamy had already heard all of it, so he walked ahead on his own, hearing their distant voices behind him.

Bellamy, in the silence, began thinking of a plan. How they would split up, who would go get Clarke and who would fight, how to get away, how to even sneak in in the first place. After several minutes of racking his brain for a plan, Bellamy realized that he knew nothing about what they were walking into. Obviously whoever took Clarke didn't bring her into Mount Weather, or else Amelia's Grounder clan would've found them. Plus, that would've been a stupid thing to do, put themselves in a position where a lot of people would go. They didn't even know who took her, just apparently some men with guns. That part alone made Bellamy wonder who these people were, how they got weapons, and most importantly, why they wanted Clarke.

Amelia's footsteps crunched up to Bellamy as she said, "You know we could be walking into a trap, right?" She said calmly. Bellamy hadn't spoken to Amelia since the night before, and since she seemed at ease and that she wasn't going to bring it up, Bellamy decided to also pretend that it never happened.

He nodded as he stated, "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing." When Amelia didn't answer, he continued. "Are we near where they took her?" He asked, surprised that he hadn't even asked where she was last seen before they started marching on some rescue mission.

Amelia paused to look around, creasing her eyebrows, and then her eyes landed on something as she said, "Wait."

Bellamy came to a stop, then when he saw Amelia walk in a different direction, he followed Amelia through a few thick bushes. Amelia stopped, her eyes darting around the trees and dirt. Bellamy remained silent, hearing the footsteps of the others come to a stop behind him.

"What's going on?" Bellamy slightly jumped as he heard Octavia's voice right behind him. He kept his eyes on Amelia as he responded, "I think she recognized something." and with that, Octavia nodded and backed up towards Lincoln.

Amelia bent down and ruffled through the fallen leaves on the dirt. After a few seconds of silence, she stood up, brushed the dirt off of her legs, and turned to face everyone else.

"It was here." she stated, motioning her arms around her, at the trees and bushes surrounding them. "We found the guards dead right here." she said, kneeling down once again.

Bellamy only nodded. "Let's take a look around, see if we can find anything." He ordered, turning around to search for a trail while the others did the same.

Bellamy leaned down and searched the branches and dirt for any sign of a struggle. After minutes of looking at every detail of every plant and speck of dirt, Bellamy had still found nothing. Everything looked in tact.

"Bellamy!" He heard Monty yell from across the opening. Bellamy jogged over to where Monty and Jasper were standing with the others. They parted once Bellamy showed up, and when he got closer, Monty held something up. A knife.

Bellamy snatched it out of Monty's hands, glancing it up and down. There was no sign of blood on it, so Bellamy turned to the others and asked, "What exactly am I looking for?", holding up the knife at them as if to show that it was nothing special.

Octavia rolled her eyes and walked up to Bellamy, taking the knife. "This is one of ours. From Camp Jaha."

Bellamy remained still, surprised he didn't notice it before. He'd been so busy looking for blood or any signs that someone was hurt that he didn't even think that it could be theirs. But if it is, that means that the knife must've belonged to Clarke. There's no way anyone else got one of Camp Jaha's knives.

Bellamy began thinking of what this meant. He was just hoping that the knife fell out because Clarke was fighting, not because she was attacked and dragged away.

He shook the thought out of his head as he cleared his throat and looked up at the others.

"Okay, so now that we have this, we can…"

Bellamy was cut off by a loud bang, shortly followed by a scream from Octavia. Everyone automatically ducked down, and all of the sudden gunfire started going off from all around them. Monty and Jasper were scrambling to get up, while Lincoln had rushed to Octavia's side and was now holding her while she grasped her bloody shoulder. Amelia rushed through the trees, her eyes wide and scared as they met Bellamy's.

"This way!" She shouted over all of the chaos, motioning for Bellamy to follow her. He nodded at her, and crouched as he walked towards the others, still attempting to avoid the persistent gunfire.

"Come on! We gotta go!" Bellamy shouted to them. Jasper and Monty nodded, and Bellamy crouched as he went over to Octavia, who was sitting as Lincoln held her up. Bellamy lightly pulled back Octavia's sleeve, exposing the wound as Octavia cried out. The bullet hadn't passed through, which meant that they were going to have to take it out by hand later. Bellamy sighed as he drew back his hand, which was now coated with Octavia's blood.

"You okay O?" Bellamy asked loudly. Octavia looked at him and nodded slightly. Bellamy backed up and started wiping his hand on his pants. He wasn't worried, Octavia was strong. But still, they couldn't have anything slow them down at this point. Bellamy glanced at Lincoln and back to Octavia. As Lincoln nodded at him and began to pick her up, Octavia protested, "No, I can run on my own. Let's get the hell out of here." She groaned, squeezing her eyes shut as Lincoln obliged and helped her to her feet.

Seconds later they were all running through the trees, blinding following Amelia as gunfire continued to roar around them. After what felt like an eternity of running, Bellamy spotted a small metal hut in front of them that was camouflaged by the vines and grasses growing around it and on it, but he was able to make out the large dark grey metal door hidden behind all of the green. He didn't know what this place was, or if anyone used it, but at this point he didn't care, they just needed to get away from the gunfire.

"This way!" Bellamy shouted back to the others, pointing at the hut ahead. Everyone was pretty far behind Bellamy, but they still seemed to hear him over the chaos. They seemed to run even faster, now that they knew they actually had a destination, a safe destination. At least Bellamy hoped it was safe.

Bellamy was about twenty feet from the door when he felt a sharp pain in his right ankle. He cried out as he fell to the floor, barely having time to catch himself before his face smacked into the dirt beneath him. Bellamy grunted a sat up, his ankle feeling like it was on fire. He reached down to see the damage, pulling up the pant leg, grimacing as the pants touched his fresh wound. There was so much blood, but Bellamy could tell that the bullet wasn't in his ankle, despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Bellamy held his breath as he tried to get a good look at the wound, he saw blood pouring out of a hole, but it didn't look to be too deep. That must mean that the bullet only grazed his leg. Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, Bellamy grunted as he attempted to stand up, then suddenly someone grasped his hand and helped him up. Amelia stood beside him, clearly out of breath.

"You good?" She asked, glancing at how Bellamy was putting his weight on his left leg.

Bellamy nodded in response, turning to see that the others were fast approaching.

He grimaced as he began to jog towards the hut, trying his best to not put a ton of weight on his ankle. Octavia was soon right behind Bellamy, pushing herself as hard as she could to get away from the gunfire. Bellamy could tell that she was almost out of energy, but right then they reached the door.

Bellamy and Octavia burst through the heavy door, Octavia holding her shoulder, which was pouring with blood. Lincoln was outside the door, yelling at Monty and Jasper to hurry up. They came in shortly after, out of breath. Lincoln grunted as he shut the door, and even before the silence could wash over everyone, he ran over to where Bellamy stood with Octavia. Lincoln grabbed Octavia's good arm and helped her to the ground, where he started looking at her wound. Bellamy grimaced as he put weight on his ankle, and as he leaned against the wall, he looked down at his blood-covered hands. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself after what had just happened. He closed his eyes and backed up to the wall, sliding down so that he was now on the cold hard floor.

After a few seconds of silence, Bellamy opened his eyes and glanced around him. He blinked as he got the strange sense of deja vu. The hurt ankle, Octavia's bloody shoulder, everyone being out of breath, this big metal box….

Bellamy's heart raced as he realized where he had seen all of this before. His nightmare. It was coming true. Just as he remembered what was supposed to happen next, Amelia cried out.


	7. Chapter 7

_Bellamy stood in front of the frantic crowd, trying to calm them down as they yelled at him to open the dropship door. He himself was still frazzled from the landing, and all of the sudden the guard's uniform got hot as the stress consumed Bellamy. Clearing his throat, he tried again to tell everyone to back up before he lurched open the door to their possible deaths. The people quieted down, but as they did, Bellamy heard footsteps coming down. His gaze went up and they met with blonde curls and captivating green eyes filled with confusion and concern. After a few seconds of thinking, Bellamy recognized the girl as Clarke Griffin. He knew from her reputation on the Arc that she was tough and stubborn, but had no idea what he was getting into._

Despite every bone in his body to tell him to stay sitting down, Bellamy grunted as he used the wall to stand up again. He didn't want to see this, because as much as he kept telling himself his stupid nightmare wasn't real, the deja vu so far had been too exact. As Jasper and Monty began towards Amelia's cry, confused, while Lincoln stayed with Octavia on the other side of the room, Bellamy started limping after them. He took deep breaths, trying to tell himself that everything that had happened in the last few days was not for nothing. Amelia didn't get shot for nothing, Octavia didn't get shot for nothing, Bellamy himself didn't get hurt for nothing. They didn't trek all the way out here just to find a corpse.

Bellamy's heart started pounding as he neared the doorway. _You're forgiven._

Amelia was now quietly sobbing. _I need you._

Bellamy could hear Jasper and Monty talking quietly, worried. _I can't lose you too._

His vision became blurry as he rounded the corner, his mind focused on the glistening of her eyes and the warmth of her smile on the rare occasion that it made an appearance.

 _May we meet again._

The body was facing the wall, curled up into an awkward position. There were small pools of blood surrounding it, all dried up. The clothes on the body were stained with the blood and mud, and Bellamy felt a lump in his throat when he glanced at the broken leg, seeing it twisted backwards and the multiple stab wounds in the back. His gaze slowly made its way to the head of the body.

It wasn't Clarke. The relief that fell over Bellamy caused him to back up against the wall, letting out a deep breath that he hadn't been aware that he was holding. He put all his weight on his good leg and blinked a few times to clear his vision and his mind.

"His name was Rees." Amelia mumbled, crouching down next to the body but not touching it.

Bellamy, now being able to see and think more clearly, glanced at Amelia, but before he could form a question, she shuffled forward and gently grabbed the man...Rees'...shoulders, turning him over slowly onto his back. His medium length black hair was strewn across his face, and when Amelia reached up and brushed the hairs away, Bellamy could see that his pitch black eyes were open and staring at the ceiling, glazed over.

Amelia sighed and closed his eyelids before she glanced at the rest of his body, as if checking for more wounds than he already had.

"He was a good man." She said, breaking the silence. She was standing now, wiping the dirt and dust from the room off of her pants.

"He saved my life once…and my dad's" She trailed off, turning around towards Bellamy, towards the doorway that he was standing in.

The silence as she began walking towards the hallway was deafening, with Monty and Jasper standing to the side, glancing from the corpse to Amelia, not knowing what to think or say, and Bellamy, still in shock from the adrenaline that had just coursed through his veins.

When Amelia was right next to Bellamy, he cleared his throat and held his hand out, silently asking her to wait.

She stopped, glancing up at Bellamy, her eyes holding no emotion, yet some tear stains remained on her dirt-covered cheeks. She raised an eyebrow at Bellamy as if to ask what he wanted.

Bellamy nodded towards the Grounder body in the corner as he asked, "Was he…"

He was interrupted as Lincoln came down the hallway, his face flustered. Bellamy tensed up, temporarily forgetting about Amelia and what he was going to ask her.

"What is it?" Bellamy asked, his voice sounding loud in the small rooms.

Lincoln's gaze shifted to Rees' body, but he had no reaction as he glanced back at Bellamy, saying, "I stopped the bleeding as much as I could. She will be fine for now but we need to get somewhere safer, where everyone can heal." He glanced down at Bellamy's ankle and towards Amelia when saying this, who was still just standing next to Bellamy, silent.

Bellamy sighed, relieved that Octavia was okay for now. There was so much going on in Bellamy's head that he wouldn't know what to do if something else went wrong.

As Bellamy was thinking that, he heard the loud creak of the doors they had shoved through not ten minutes ago. Bellamy froze, his gaze locked with Lincoln as they both realized the same thing: Octavia was in the main room, alone and wounded.

Lincoln turned and bolted back down the hallway as Bellamy did the best he could with his hurt ankle. Jasper, Monty, and Amelia blurred past him, all with weapons drawn and prepared.

Bellamy was breathing hard as he attempted to ignore the sting in his ankle, and he was so focused on getting to that room that he nearly smashed into Monty's back.

He grabbed on to the wall to steady himself, the looked at the scene in front of him. Monty, Jasper, and Amelia were all crowded together in front of Bellamy in the entrance to the hallway, frozen. They were all looking at something around the corner that Bellamy wasn't able to see because of the frozen people in front of him.

The first thing he heard was, "Let her go.".

Bellamy recognized the voice as Lincoln's, with his deep grumble and the hatred seething in those three words. Bellamy knew automatically that he was talking about Octavia, so, seemingly breaking from his trance, he shoved past the mob in front of him, pushing his way around the corner, then stopped at the sight in front of him.

A Grounder, dressed a lot like Rees, minus the many blood stains, stood in front of the main door, a knife to Octavia's throat. The look on her face was mainly anger, but Bellamy could detect the fear hidden beneath, most likely because she knew that she was injured and couldn't break free on her own. Her shoulder wound seemed to be bleeding again, but the Grounder hadn't seemed to notice yet. Bellamy clenched his fists, waiting for someone to make the first move. It was five against one, Bellamy wasn't sure why Lincoln hadn't gone after him yet.

"Maybe I will, once you tell us why the hell you're all here." The Grounder said, replying to Lincoln's earlier demand. His gaze swept over all of them, then landed on someone to Bellamy's left. His eyes widened and his mouth opened in awe, but his grip on the knife and Octavia never loosened.

"Amelia." He said matter-of-factly, the awe on his face now replaced with a hard, serious look. Bellamy glanced at her, just now putting together that since she had known Rees, she probably knew this guy, too. Bellamy relaxed a little. With Amelia on their side, she would talk to this guy and convince him to let them go, maybe even help them. Or maybe Bellamy was delirious, either from the confusion from everything that's happened, or the pain that his ankle was causing him.

"Alek." Amelia responded, using the same tone as he did with her, barely showing any emotion.

The Grounder, apparently called Alek, glared at her harshly, forgetting that he was still holding a knife dangerously close to Octavia's neck.

"Who are these people? What are you doing with them? What do they want?" He asked, as if the rest of the group wasn't there to answer those questions on their own.

Amelia just continued to glare at him, before hesitantly responding, "It's none of your business why I'm here, but these people aren't here to hurt you, Alek. We were just shot at and needed shelter. The girl you're threatening is hurt, by the way, so if you wouldn't mind letting her go…" She trailed off, her once emotionless voice now containing fragments of desperation and fear, though Bellamy couldn't really determine why.

He finally decided to speak up after ages of silence. "Amelia's right." He blurted out. Alek's gaze shifted to Bellamy, eyebrows creased.

Bellamy continued. "We're not here to hurt you. We only just now discovered this place as we were running for cover, and we just needed to stop. So let her go and we'll just leave you alone." He said calmly. Usually he would want to fight, to figure out why this guy was so threatened by them and how he was connected to Amelia, and if he'd killed that guy in the back room. But today, after all of the thoughts racing through his head and going out looking for Clarke and finding Amelia and him and Octavia getting hurt and now having a knife to her throat, Bellamy just didn't have the energy. He wasn't going to try to be the big strong hero today.

Alek glared at Bellamy for a while, as if he was trying to figure out who he was, before his gaze shifted back to Amelia, oblivious to anything that he had just said.

"We've been looking for you, Amelia. So how about you agree to come back with us, and we'll let you and your new little buddies go." Alek said, nodding his head at the others and Octavia.

Bellamy held up his hands. "Whoa, hold on. Who's we? And what the hell do you mean you were looking for her, she's been out here looking for your leader this whole time!"

Alek seemed confused at first, but then a grin started forming on his face.

"Ah, is that what you told them? Our leader, how cute." He chuckled, tightening his grip around Octavia, who remained frozen, now with an annoyed expression on her face, as if she was sick of being held at knife point while old friends were apparently catching up.

Bellamy glanced over at Amelia, who still had the deadpan expression on her face, except now Bellamy noticed the slightest twitch in her fingers. She was getting angry, or she was nervous, or both.

"I told them the truth." She said through gritted teeth. "Now how about we stop this small talk and get right to it, where is she?" She stepped forward, fists now clenched at her sides.

Just as Alek's smug smile returned, Octavia lifted up her leg and drove her ankle into his calf. Gasping, he bent over in pain, dropping his arm away from Octavia's neck. Lincoln and Bellamy rushed forward, and just as they were about to help, Octavia used her good arm to elbow Alek in his side. Kneeling on the ground and cursing, Alek swung his blade blindly towards her, but she ducked away from the swing and used the momentum to bring her knee right up to Alek's face. He let out a grunt as he landed on the cold ground with a final thump.

Breathing heavily, Octavia turned around to see the others standing there, gawking at her. Holding her wounded shoulder, she shrugged as best as she could. "You guys weren't doing anything about it." And with that, Lincoln went to her side to hold her up as she continued by saying, "Now I say we get the hell out of here before any more show up."

Clearing his throat, Bellamy made his way towards them. "Let's go, then." He tried to focus on just getting out and getting someplace safe, and not on the distrust that loomed over Amelia after the conversation with Alek. She must've sensed it, too, because she stayed a good distance away from all of them as she made her way to the door, silent. Monty and Jasper, whom Bellamy had almost forgotten were there, also began trudging towards the big door, carefully stepping over Alek's unconscious body while doing so.

Before opening the door, Bellamy turned to the others. "Be prepared. We don't know if he had backup waiting for him out here." When they all gave him nods, Bellamy turned back to the door and opened it.

As soon as the sunlight washed into the room, Bellamy squinted, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Once they did, he carefully stepped out, knife in hand. As soon as he was fully outside and was turning back to the others to say it all looked clear, something above him caught his eye just as it jumped towards him and shoved him to the ground, causing everything to go black.


	8. Chapter 8

The world around Bellamy was blurry. He tried to move his head, but that just made the room spin even more. He tried to blink to clear away the fuzziness, and with doing that enough he was finally able to make out the room that he was now sitting in. It was a room enclosed in all stone, and the strewn items and blood puddle looked familiar, and it took Bellamy a few seconds to place the fact that he was in the building that he thought he had just walked out of, in the room where Rees' body once lay. Now, Bellamy was the only person in the room, and through the doorway he could hear voices. He couldn't place the voices, but something told him one of them was whoever jumped out and knocked him out.

Bellamy grunted as he tried getting up, squeezing his eyes shut to block out the spinning room. He remembered his friends, and that he had to make sure whatever backup Alek had brought hadn't gotten to them. He opened his eyes as he finally stood up and this time, the room was perfectly still. He glanced down to make sure his knife was still in its holster, and when he grabbed onto the hilt and yanked it out, he began to slowly make his way down the hallway.

As he got closer, he could make out Lincoln and Octavia's voices, mainly Lincoln making sure Octavia was okay. Bellamy paused, sighing with relief, the weight lifting off of his chest even more when he heard Monty and Jasper, too. Even though they sounded okay, Bellamy still held out his knife as he turned the corner.

Octavia was sitting against the opposite wall, a bandage on her shoulder and Lincoln next to her, making sure the bandage was secure. Monty was sitting on a stack of old metal boxes, and Jasper was standing next to him. Alek was still unconscious, slumped against the wall across from Monty and Jasper. His hands and feet were bound tightly, and his weapons were in a stack on a box out of arms reach next to him. There was no sign of Amelia, but that thought escaped Bellamy's mind quickly when the whole room fell silent as he walked in. Every head (besides Alek's of course) turned and all of their expressions were basically the same, filled with what almost looked like a mixture of pity and relief.

Bellamy hesitated, then set his knife back into his holster as he walked towards the middle of the room.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked loudly, glancing around to each person and their blank gazes, waiting for an explanation.

Octavia was the first to speak.

"Bell, it's okay. We're not in danger, it wasn't Alek's backup." She said, as if she was trying to calm Bellamy down to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

When Octavia didn't say anything else, he raised his eyebrows, annoyed, and said, "Then who the hell was it?"

They all glanced around at each other, as if they were unsure if they should tell Bellamy or not, which only made him more angry. Just as he was about to demand that they stop acting like he wasn't there or didn't deserve to know something, they big doors opened in front of him.

Amelia walked in, looking annoyed, as she stayed silent and walked right by everyone into the hallway behind Bellamy, not even glancing in his direction.

The room was still silent, and Bellamy was fed up with it.

"Forget it. I'll find out myself." He grumbled angrily as he walked towards the door. Jasper and Monty tried to stop him by standing in front of him.

"Bellamy, wait…."

"You might not want to…."

Bellamy shoved right past them, ignoring their comments as he opened the door to the outside, praying that this time he wasn't attacked.

As his eyes adjusted to the sunlight, he heard footsteps approaching him and his hands instinctively went down to his knife, gripping the hilt.

"Bellamy."

Bellamy froze. His grip on the knife loosened as his eyes adjusted. He'd heard that voice a thousand times, barking orders, making demands, filled with sadness, with anger, but this time, it was filled with pure relief. He had tried to keep that voice and the way it sounded in his head, telling himself he wouldn't forget it, that's why he kept having those dreams and memories. He refused to let it go, believing that may we meet again would be the last thing he ever heard the voice say.

Clarke was there. Right in front of him, and she would've been almost unrecognizable if not for her voice and piercing eyes. She was in Grounder clothes, covering her from almost head to toe. There was a bow strung across her shoulders and her hair was knotted and covered in dirt, and what made her eyes pop even more was the Grounder "makeup" around them, the black stretching across her eyes like a mask.

"Clarke?" Bellamy whispered, even though he knew it was her. He was still trying to sort out what was happening. The past 3 months he had imagined different ways this scenario would pan out, them meeting again, since he had still had hope that he would see her again, but already the things he had wanted to say to her slipped right through his mind at the sight of her.

She smiled slightly and took two strides towards Bellamy before engulfing him in a hug.

He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her, loose enough not to hurt her, but tight enough to show that he didn't want to let her go. Not this time. He closed his eyes and smiled, noticing the smallest change in her smell, but not caring because she was in his arms.

"Hi." She whispered as she broke away from him, still smiling. When Bellamy looked at her, he noticed that the smile was only half real, that there was some part of it that looked sad, or guilty. He could guess why, but he really didn't want to think about that.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, trying to hide his relief and the smile that wanted to stay plastered on his face.

The glisten in her eyes faded as she stepped back. She glanced at the building behind Bellamy as she said, "This is where I've been staying for a few days. It's been quiet, up until now." She glanced back at Bellamy.

Despite all of the questions racing around in Bellamy's head, the first one that popped out was, "The Grounder in the back?" as he nodded his head towards the building, hoping she understood was he was asking so he didn't have to flat out ask her.

Clarke's gaze dropped to the ground. "Rees was a friend. He was one of the guards sent to protect me. Alek killed him." Clarke stated, her gaze still on the ground beneath her.

"When I found his body, I brought it inside so I could bring it back to the village." she continued when Bellamy said nothing. "I went out searching for Alek, but apparently he found this place first. He found you first." her gaze shifted up to Bellamy, her eyes filled with sadness. They lightened up a little as she added, "Sorry about knocking you out, by the way. I thought you were him."

Bellamy smiled slightly. "No harm done." He was glad the sad look was out of her eyes, he couldn't bear seeing her upset and not being able to do anything about it.

Clarke just smiled back, and Bellamy began to realize it was more than just her smell that had changed. The way she carried herself, the way she seemed so distant, the way that she avoided his gaze whenever she could now caught his attention in the silence. This was a Clarke that Bellamy had to see.

Eager to break the silence, Bellamy finally cleared his throat and asked, "I thought Amelia said that you had two guards, and that both of their bodies were found not far from here?" He recalled Amelia finding the place where their bodies supposedly were and finding the knife that had supposedly been Clarke's. Now he wasn't even sure what was true.

Clarke's face was serious as she responded, "Alek was the second guard." as if that answered both questions, though it just raised more.

Before she could elaborate any more, the doors creaked open. Monty's head popped out, and he glanced between Bellamy and Clarke before saying, "He's awake."

Clarke nodded and marched right past Bellamy, who followed close behind. He was still confused to hell and back, but it seemed like that would have to wait.

When they got inside, Alek was still against the wall, and Jasper and Lincoln were standing over him, while Octavia was still sitting against the other wall, scowling at him. Amelia still hadn't seemed to come out of the back room. Turning back to Alek, Bellamy saw that though he was still bound, his head was held high as if he wasn't scared by anyone there. That is, until Clarke walked in.

His eyes widened with hatred as she walked up so that she was standing right in front of him.

" _Natrona_." Clarke spat to him before he could speak. Bellamy glanced over to her, and he could tell she was furious. Her fists were clenched at her sides, knuckles white. Bellamy wondered if killing Rees was the only thing Alek had done to make her so mad.

But Alek only chuckled. "You call me a traitor? You're the one who has killed so many of ours in the past, then decides that it's alright to show up to one of our villages and beg for shelter."

Clarke crouched down so she was at his eye level.

"I did what I had to do to protect my people." She said, her words causing Bellamy to flinch. She called them her people. He didn't even know what that meant anymore.

Alek only smiled smugly again. "Always your excuse. Help your people no matter the consequences. And yet you are the one who decided to leave those people who you so desperately fought to save."

Clarke's fist connected with his jaw, making Bellamy and everyone else jump. None of them has made a move or a sound, not wanting to interfere but also wanting to know more. Bellamy was just sick of being so confused, he wanted to figure out what exactly was going on.

"Don't you dare think you have the right to act like you're better than me." Clarke hissed at Alek, whose lip was now swollen and bleeding. Bellamy stared at the back of Clarke's head, concerned and worried about how much of her was actually the same Clarke that left Camp Jaha 3 months ago, and how much was based on what had went down in those months.

Clarke continued. "I may have made mistakes to get the people I care about to where they are now, but at least I haven't murdered my own family just because we disagreed."

Alek launched towards Clarke, seething. Bellamy reached for his knife just as Lincoln shoved Alek back down against a wall, who was still staring directly at Clarke.

"He betrayed us. He betrayed me by choosing you." He spat, blood from the cut on his mouth dripping onto his clothes. He didn't seem to notice though, the only thing on his mind seemed like it was murder. Bellamy's hand stayed on the knife hilt, feeling as though this would only end in one way.

"He was a good man!" Clarke yelled, grabbing her knife out of her own hilt and pointing it at Alek's throat. He didn't even flinch.

"A good man who put his faith in a murderer." He muttered.

Clarke remained silent, retracting her knife from his throat, then eventually said, more calmly, but still filled with fury, " _Yu gonplei ste odon."_

Alek responded weakly, "As yours will be soon."

Then Clarke drove her knife through his heart.


	9. Chapter 9

They all stood in silence for a few moments, as they watched Alek's body slump to the ground. Clarke stood up, avoiding eye contact with everyone as she marched back into the room that Amelia walked to. Jasper and Monty glanced at each other, eyes sullen, shrugging, showing they are just as confused as Bellamy is yet too tired of everything going on to press the issue. Lincoln stayed by Octavia's side, once again inspecting her wound.

Suddenly yells erupted from the back room.

"You can't just kill everyone!" Amelia's voice rose, sounding angry and hurt.

"He deserved to die!" Clarke yelled back. "He murdered Rees! Don't you remember what he's done for you, for us?"

Their voices slowly diminished, so Bellamy made his way through the hallway to hear better. So much has been happening, and Bellamy just wanted to finally know the truth. As he approached the door, he heard them again.

"What are you even doing here, Amelia?" Clarke asked, the hatred out of her now even voice, even from the hallway, Bellamy could tell that she was tired, and she just wanted all of this to end.

"I wanted to find you." Amelia replied, pleading. "So many people were saying things about what happened to you, and I just had to be sure."

Clarke sighed. "I didn't mean that. I meant why are you here with them?" She basically hissed the last word, and Bellamy shivered out in the hallway. Was she seriously upset that Amelia involved her friends, the people who have fought behind her for so long, who cared about her?

"I…" Amelia started, apparently surprised by the question. "I just thought they could help me. Nobody from camp cared whether you were alive or dead, but unlike them, the Sky People actually trust you."

Bellamy waited in anticipation for Clarke's response. The guilt for creeping in on their conversation tugged at him, but Bellamy ignored it. He deserved to know if he just risked his life for nothing.

"I'm not so sure of that anymore." Clarke responded after a while. Bellamy felt a twinge of pity at the amount of sadness and defeat in her voice. She seemed to still be unsure about who she is, despite that she just spent 3 months making a new name for herself. Apparently it hadn't turned out like she planned.

Later that night, after the conversation between Amelia and Clarke evaporated, they all just stayed in the building, only making small talk with each other. Jasper would force out a question to Clarke, and she would just shrug or avoid it completely. After a while everyone grew tired of trying, and Bellamy believed that if Octavia hadn't been so tired from the events of the day and her wound, that she would have spat out some nasty comment to Clarke, since she was still pretty bitter about the attack on Tondc. Nobody brought up the past, even the fact that Clarke left them all. Nobody wanted to talk about it, and Bellamy certainly didn't blame them.

Eventually, Bellamy decided that the suffocating silence in the room was too much. He walked out of the building, the only sound his response to Octavia when she asked him where he was going.

Outside, the sky had finally grown dark, and this is the part that Bellamy loved most about Earth. The silence that came with the night. Looking up at the stars, and eventually not remembering the Ark being up there, just enjoying the feeling when looking up to see millions of twinkling lights.

Bellamy sat in silence, which he had pretty much been doing all day, but he tried to tell himself that nothing was wrong. Or that even though everything was a mess right now, that it would get better. It always had, before, one way or another. Despite the losses and pain they felt, they always ended up with some form of peace and quiet, at least for a little while.

After only listening to the calming sounds of the woods, Bellamy heard the loud door open behind him, and moments later, Clarke sat down next to him. She pulled her knees to her chest and just stared straight ahead of her. Bellamy stared at her for a second, taking in how defeated she looked. He didn't know what had happened to her, and he wasn't really sure that he wanted to know, but he knew that whatever it was, she was hurting. And part of him just couldn't deal with that.

Despite automatically wanting to question her whereabouts for the past few months, the betrayal and anger inside Bellamy just had to ask another one first.

"Was it worth it?" His question broke the silence. Clarke glanced up, as if surprised by the suddenness of his question and maybe even the topic of it.

Even though he knew she understood, she still muttered, "Was what worth it?"

"Leaving us. Leaving everyone who put so much faith in you as a leader and who looked to you." He hesitated, before adding, "Leaving me."

That last part caused Clarke to make eye contact. He saw so much hurt in her eyes that he wanted to take it back, he wanted to say it was okay and that they could move on and forget about it. But the truth was, Bellamy couldn't. He couldn't take back every moment that he was awake at night just wondering if Clarke was even alive. He couldn't forget the pain he felt every time that he remembered what they had to do at Mount Weather, and how Clarke had to deal with it on her own. He couldn't forget the amount of anger and betrayal that flowed through his veins when he realized that it was her choice. After everything that they had been through, every single one of them, she was the one who just walked away.

After all of these thoughts raced through Bellamy's head a dozen times, Clarke spoke up.

"I thought leaving would help me forget." She began, her gaze shooting towards her hands, as if she couldn't look at Bellamy when she admitted that.

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I didn't want to forget everyone, I didn't want to forget you." His breath caught when her voice slightly cracked when she said you and suddenly some of his anger dissolved, but only a small portion.

"I wanted to forget how much I changed. I've changed for the better, but after what happened…." She trailed off, pulling at her Grounder gloves. "I wanted to find the girl that I was when I first came here. When this world was new and breathtaking and innocent. When I realized how to be a leader, a good leader, and how to always make the best decision for my people. But, after that, I guess I became confused on whether I was doing what was best for my people or best for me. So I decided to leave, because I couldn't handle not knowing what I was fighting for anymore." She finished, her voice full of the hurt that reflected in her eyes.

Bellamy sighed. This was making it easier for Bellamy to understand why she left, and as much as he wanted to go back to that day and force her to stay, to face it together, he knew he couldn't change that. He was the one who had told the others to move forward. And he had to start taking his own advice for once.

"And did it work?" He asked, side glancing at Clarke next to him. When she gave him a questioning look, he slightly smiled before responding, "Did you find the brave princess?"

A smile broke Clarke's lips, and Bellamy felt a sudden surge of relief. The girl he knew wasn't completely gone, she may have been a little broken, but Clarke Griffin couldn't fade away that easily.

"Very funny." She responded, and Bellamy could sense her loosening up. She had probably been afraid of being hated by Bellamy when she confessed her reasons, but if there was something that Bellamy could never do, it was to hate Clarke.

"I think we've all come too far to ever be who we once were." Clarke continued, the smile fading from her lips.

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing." Bellamy chimed in, thinking of the person that he was when he first arrived compared to the person that he now was.

Clarke glanced at him. "I guess not, but sometimes it's good to hope. Hope that someday things will be back to normal, to when we only had to worry about surviving, and not all of the complications and pain that could come with it."

Bellamy leaned in closer to Clarke, gazing at the stars.

"The day we got shipped off of the Ark, things stopped being normal for us, Clarke." He muttered.

She nodded, but didn't elaborate or respond any further.

"How about you?" She brought up moments later, and Bellamy knew she wanted to take the conversation away from all of her mistakes.

Bellamy glanced at her, "What?" He asked.

"How.." She trailed off, as if she didn't know how to begin. "How have you been?" She asked, leaving the question open at the end, as if she was trying to ask, how have you been since I abandoned you.

Bellamy cleared his throat, not likely the sudden shift to him.

"I, uh, it's been fine." He responded, not wanting to tell her about how good and normal it's actually been back at Camp Jaha. He also didn't want to mention his position as guard, because he already felt guilty enough, having Clarke tell him that he deserved it would only make it worse.

Bellamy could feel Clarke glancing at him, but he didn't turn, he just continued to stare at the stars. He wanted to elaborate, to tell her more, but the words wouldn't come to him.

Clarke looked away. "I understand if you don't want to tell me, Bellamy. I don't deserve…"

"Stop." Bellamy interrupted, turning towards her. Her open mouth closed when he grabbed onto her hand. It took all that he had to look her in the eyes and not look away. She looked confused and surprised, and Bellamy tried to ignore the sudden warmth that surrounded their hands.

"Stop blaming yourself for everything, Clarke." He said sincerely. He hid his own shocked expression. He didn't know where any of this was coming from, he expected their first actual conversation to go a little differently. He was prepared to be upset with her, to make her feel bad for leaving all of them, to yell at her like he used to and wait for her to apologize over and over. But somehow when she was talking, Bellamy could already sense how much pain she was in, and he couldn't force himself to cause more for her.

"But.." Clarke began.

"No. Look, Clarke, Mount Weather….we did that together. I helped you pull that lever because I didn't want you to have to do that alone. So, yes, when you walked away, I was pissed. Of course I was. You're the one who made me a better person, Clarke, and I was afraid that I would turn back into that asshole that I was when we first came, when all I cared about was me and my sister. Clarke, you taught me what it means to be a good leader, to put your people before yourself. And that's what we did at Mount Weather. Despite how much it hurt and changed us, we had good intentions." He finished, out of breath.

Clarke looked as surprised at Bellamy's speech as Bellamy himself did. He was tempted to turn away, embarrassed, and deny everything he just said. That's what he was good at after all, hiding his emotions and covering them with anger and stupid actions. But something told him that this time he had said what needed to be said, for both of their sakes.

"No matter how pissed I was at you, Clarke, I never hated you." Bellamy continued when she didn't answer. "And now, I understand why you left. Do I wish I could change that? Hell yeah. Can I do anything about it? No. But I understand, and some people could say that you were even being strong when you walked away from something you….cared about so much." He cleared his throat, stopping himself from saying loved.

"Thank you." Clarke whispered, closing her hand around his. The conversation ended there, on a good note, and that's how they stayed. Hand in hand, gazing at the stars for what felt like forever, until Jasper called them inside to talk about what they were going to do next.


End file.
